at Seward House
Badsey
Oct 14th 1914
My dear Sweetheart
I thought I would write once more from the home address – the last time for twelve months. This will not be as nice a letter as I should like it to be as people are talking and reading out loud all the time. It may be a few days before you get much more than a postcard from me or at any rate only a few lines, as it will be wiser for me to settle in a bit and take in my surroundings before putting my impressions on paper.
I am sorry you are having trouble with one of your eyes. It sounds rather like a cold in the eye, which might account for the filminess, but not necessarily for the spots. Of course you may have got something into your eye which has inflamed it (I hope the Germans have not been poisoning the dust with chemicals – there has been a case of such poisoning in England during this war but I don’t seriously think it is so in [?]!) I should try bathing the eye with boracic lotion – it is always used in eye cases and is very soothing – but I would be much better pleased if you would see a doctor about it, that is if it is no better by now. A few days ago my eyes were giving me a lot of trouble being quite painful. Mrs Ashwin and I put it down to the dusty roads and certainly they were worse after going out. They are quite all right now, but I found them rather filmy when reading or working. The fact that mine are better makes me hope yours is by now.
You mustn’t forget to tell me how your eye is when you write next.
I dressed up in my uniform tonight and went across to see Mrs Ashwin. Her remark was “Although I don’t approve of your taking up nursing I must say the uniform is vastly becoming”! I promised the old lady not to go on until I break down and your Mother said most cheerfully tonight “If you are unhappy you must just run away, that’s all”!!! What would Matron say if she had heard! I am not going to the hospital with the idea of running away but am hoping to really be able to stand the training this time.
Matron said in her letter that she has an unexpected vacancy. I am rather glad to be going under these circumstances as then I feel I am really wanted and another pair of hands will be welcomed.
Miss Pollard has given me a very nice box of chocolates to take with me. She said she thought I had the air of a girl who likes chocolates! Clever, wasn’t she?
This box of chocolates will make me very popular amongst the pros when the days work is done!
Ethel’s plans are that she should travel up to Town with Miss Pollard on Saturday and then each go their own way. Ethel to Sydenham until Monday as she wants to get a glimpse of Mary – then on to Folkestone for a fortnight and pay Miss P. a visit on her return journey.
Your Mother sends her love and hopes you will not find this damp weather very disagreeable under canvas. How jolly having a tent to yourself – I would like you to know that I am really taking up nursing with the motive of doing some good in the world, in the hope of being able to relieve some of the suffering. Seeing the sufferings of others will be a stimulus to me because it will help me to realize that my lot in life has been cast in pleasant places, and will then go towards making me contented in spite of our separation. For, as I keep telling myself, I ought to be contented in the knowledge that we still have each other in spite of this war and all the evils attending it. It is so hard to forget one’s personal feelings in the midst of a national sorrow but I do try to do so and think that the kind of work I am undertaking will make me less selfish and self centred.
I can hardly realize that I shall not get a holiday for a year – it will seem strange not to come down to Badsey every two or three months. The girls say they will come down to see me occasionally, when they have shopping to do. Even if I get a day off every month, a good slice of it would go in the train and there is no convenient train back in the evening. If you get leave at Xmas it would be very jolly if you could come and see me – although not nearly as nice as if I could get over to Badsey.
I am trying to get into the frame of mind that at present you don’t belong to me but that you belong to your country and that therefore I [?] my time for the next year and also going to belong to my country, and that I must think of duty first and pleasure after.
Well. Goodnight – dear Heart. I know you will think of me and pray for me – it is with mixed feelings that I enter on my new life to fight my own battles again – but I am very hopeful and keen and the rest I must leave in the Almighty’s hands. All my love – dear Boy.
Ever your own Mela
P.S. - It is so funny to me when you write of being orderly officer – it brings back old times. All the subs used to hate it. Don’t forget to have your photo taken in uniform.
