Seward House
Badsey
Evesham
Feb 14th 1916
My own dear Cyril
George goes back to town today and to the Front tomorrow. He is meeting Rosie this afternoon and taking her up to Sydenham, where she will spend the night. I think he is feeling rather blue at the prospect of having to say goodbye to her. May and he went for a walk yesterday afternoon and he told her a little about Rosie and the kind of life she has had to lead since she was nine years old, after her own father's death. Her mother married again, and very unsatisfactorily, a lazy lout of a man who won't do a stroke of work, and lives on the little money his wife's first husband left her. The consequence is the children have led a most unhappy life. Rosie has a sister and one brother of her own, and some step brothers. The kind of people she has met and the life she has been forced to lead, has made her very distrustful of everyone and slow to make friends, so that he thinks it will take a long time for us to draw her out even if she stayed here quite a long time. I can understand what he means so well, for in a way I was like that myself when I was first engaged to you, having had some unhappy experiences it took a long time before you were able to gain my whole confidence, only that it was not so apparent in my case to other people, because I am older than Rosie, and consequently more able to talk naturally and easily, although I may not have felt quite at ease – also I had known you for a long time previously which made a good deal of difference. George and Rosie are not going to be married for 2 years. This is her wish, as she says she feels too young and inexperienced to marry just yet.
Just a day or two before your wire came and your letter asking me to marry you which arrived at the same time, your father said “which of the two couples gets married first shall have the card table”! This is a card table that a relative of yours left your father since you have been abroad. So when he heard there is a prospect of us getting married he said, “Well – you two have won the table!”
Mary has been staying on rather longer because when your wire came she thought she would wait here to see you with Baby – but now that everything is put off indefinitely she is going to Dowlais. If we should get married after all and in spite of your not being promoted, she will come up to the wedding and leave Baby in charge of her mother. Mary is very anxious to see you, she has not seen you since the day Arthur left for the Front.
No one at home seems to realise that not getting your Captaincy will really interfere with our wedding, although I've told them it may make a difference and stop our marriage! They seem to think that if you do not get it now you will later on, and it does not worry them very much. I am just longing to hear something definite from you, because in none of your letters do you definitely state the marriage is off – in fact in your last letter you say that as leave is postponed you may get a chance of realizing your hope and getting your extra star. So I feel rather muddled, especially as I cannot help feeling that it would be folly not to take our chance while we have it, as we never know how long it will be before you get leave again, or what may happen in the meantime. It will make me happier to feel in after years that I became your wife, if anything happened to you, which God forbid. Most people are surprised that we didn’t have the usual war wedding before you went abroad, so there will be nothing to fear from public opinion! I find there are heaps of couples managing on Lieutenant's pay even when the wife is not earning so we ought to be able to manage if I help too. When the war is over, it may mean that we cannot set up housekeeping at once but we mustn't mind that. We shall have each other so what does anything else matter. And I don't suppose that the moment peace is declared that every officer will be dismissed on the spot, I should think you would be given time to look round before you resign your commissions. Your profession is the coming one too these days, science has made such rapid strides.
When you cable about your leave you might add the word “Prepare” if you wish us to get married because then I shall know for certain and cable direct to me at Seward House. I imagine a wire like this:
Starting – Prepare
would fit the case, don't you think? Anyhow if I see the word “prepare” in it I shall understand that the wedding is to take place. Of course I know there is the chance of your seeing Active Service and so all leave being stopped, but what I would like is that never mind when your leave will be is that you will come to me, and that we can spend all your time together – if we are only engaged we lose half the time and that seems such a pity when we never know what may occur later on to prevent us meeting for months and months.
PAUSE.
I went upstairs just now to brush your mother's hair and to check her up after George's departure. She talked to me about you and I said once more that as you had not had your promotion you may not wish to marry. She laughed at me and said, “I don't think there is much doubt that he will wish to be married whatever happens”!
I shall simply long to get your reply to this and my two short letters. You cannot think how happy it will make me if you show in your reply that you have sufficient confidence in me to trust that the future will work out all right for us. I prove to you my confidence in you by being much franker than many girls would dare to be and telling you exactly what I think. I know I can trust you not to not to take any unnecessary risks after we are married and I know you are not extravagant and I certainly will do my best to help in every way so that let us take our chance of happiness and not be so cautious.
God bless you, dearest, write soon and tell me what you think. All my love from
Your ever devoted
Mela
